One very good thing about coming face to face with things that you're afraid of, is that you get free of it in a sense after seeing it didn't kill you.
Often the shadow of something casts a bigger form than the thing itself, and fear is like that. It stands in the light, trying to block it, distorting itself, magnifying itself when really, the only power and currency it has is the peace it has picked from your pockets as you stood transfixed.
Some of us learned early that the way to stay safe is to keep your eyes fixed on the thing that scares you the most. It can be a life saver to do this in an emergency situation, but what God has taught me is that I'm actually the safest when I keep my eyes on Him.
Moving from surviving: panic mode, the hyper vigilance it requires, anticipating where the next blow or strike could come from and making mental moves to avoid it, placating the threat when you can and fighting it when you have to- to living is not easy but it is possible if you take God's hand.
He knows what you've been through and was there with you.
I'm very familiar with fear as it was the main enemy I faced from a very young age. As I've grown, I've noticed it wears so many different masks as it knows with some people it has to stay unrecognizable in order to operate in their lives.
But this year is going to be different for many. Fear has been shaken loose and even for those who still have bits and pieces of it attached to them like a stray thread hanging on a shirt, it'll be ripped off with a quickness.
There's freedom from it and it comes from knowing God and staying close to Him.
I've had many encounters with both angels and demons. The reason I don't talk much about it is because writing is easy for me when I write about regular things, but about spiritual things, it's much harder. Everyday words don't work and reach where they should. It feels frustrating, like trying to paint a masterpiece with crayons.
But that's "If I can't do it just right, I won't do it at all" perfectionism, you see how sneaky fear is? Lol. Anyway, about seven months ago, I was at the beginning of a cold and felt miserable. I'd woken up in the middle time of the night and found myself unable to move. I was in a half awake half asleep type of mode, my mind was 100% awake but my body was frozen in a state I did not understand.
It wasn't sleep paralysis, I've had that. It was different. I couldn't move but not in a bad way.
Suddenly, something ran past my bed to the curtains by the window a few feet in front of me. It was small and almost little girl-like but not human and not an angel. This thing was scared out of it's mind and frantic. It kept saying over and over, "He's coming, He's coming!" and was trying to hide inside of my long, almost floor length curtains.
Because I couldn't move, I became scared, too. What's coming? Is something in my house? I can't move and something is coming? I am cautious about home intruders and have weapons on every level of my house, but they're useless if you can't move.
I can't remember all of what happened next, but after awhile I knew I could move and then fell asleep.
It wasn't until later that I realized that little thing was talking about Jesus. The little thing running was not of God and it was terrified. God showed me later that that little shaking, scared thing was fear.
I could hardly believe it. It was the size of a toddler girl and it itself was shaking in my curtains trying to hide (note: evil is TERRIFIED of Jesus, absolutely petrified).
People think evil and demons are so powerful but you have to know, like any bully, the bulk of their power is not innate but derived through agreement with the lie of who they pretend to be. Anyone who has challenged a bully knows they are the weakest people on the playground. It's all talk.
A few months ago God talked to me about even satan himself and showed me the most pathetic being. There are people who worship satan and believe doing so is edgy, but if they could see him...not only is worshipping him crazy because he is a literal murderer who hates children, animals...everyone (he even hates other demons and those who "follow" him- there is no love or loyalty in him), he is in such a weakened and diseased state it was hard to look at the little parts I could see.
The closest I've ever seen a being like that was Gollum in Lord of the Rings, but it was worse. The level of disease was beyond terminal. It was a state nothing should be able to be alive in, a state of sickness and disease beyond death if that makes sense. Not only that, but if you think you've ever faced a money issue it does not compare to the debt he is in. He's beyond broke because he has stolen so much, he owes to a degree that is monumental and un-payable. The load that he carries is crushing. He's a very sore loser as well.
All this to say, the things that prop themselves up as worthy of fear in this world are not. It's a lie and illusion.
Anything trying to intimidate you from doing what God has told you to do or from living, is a lie and not worthy of being obeyed or even looked at.
Only God is worthy of keeping our eyes fixed on because He leads people into life.
I pray that this year and always, you're able to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus because like that weird running scared thing was saying in panic, He is coming. Soon.
(Don't worry, it's not in my room anymore either).
It makes me think of this verse.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
The one who perfects is Jesus because His love is perfect.
Don't waste one more minute in fear or one of it's ugly buddies (perfectionism, procrastination, endless over thinking...all remixes of fear). You're weren't made for your life and days to be a meal to this ugly weak running like a little baby spirit.
Whenever my children feel afraid, we say this verse together:
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." -2 Timothy 1:7
Power, love, and a sound, calm mind even in the night hours. Any time of day, really.
Ask Jesus to help you and He will. He loves you. I wouldn't say it if it weren't true.