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Who's Your Daddy?

Please know this is not the title I wanted. I literally sat here and argued with God about what people would think of me and how uncomfortable it made me but He did not give me another title. I sat in silence for a long time waiting.

It was a whole one sided argument, "You know I work in children's ministry right?" "Does my reputation mean nothing to You?"

When I say God has an interesting sense of humor, please believe me. I'm not laughing at the present moment but moving right along.

Lately, God has been talking to me a lot about my words and how important they are. The things I speak over myself, to be specific.

There are times when I've said something about myself and He's checked me immediately with that undeniable "nope, cancel that and try again," thing He does.

I have a tendency to be self-deprecating and to say things like, "I'm not smart," because of my struggles in school and struggles understanding what people are generally talking about and what He's explained to me is that when we made statements contrary to who He has made us to be, not only is it wrong and a lie, it is an attempt to remove His authorship from our being and assign it to something else (the past, traumatic moments, battles, the straight up enemy of our soul, etc.)

That sounds heavy and maybe weird, but let me explain as He did to me.

God made us. Each and every one of us. Like supernatural arts and crafts, He used heavenly tape and scissors, clay and stardust water (I don't know exactly, I'm just imagining here, although heaven tape must be strong) and put us together. It seems like a big project- making 40 cupcakes for a school event would cause me significant stress- but He's God and can handle such things.

In addition to bearing His fingerprints all over our bodies and souls, we carry His name.

Everything in this humanly, earthly life is a reflection of spiritual things and ways. You know how children traditionally carry the name of their father? It's like that with God, too.

In the desert, when Moses stood before the bush that burned but was not consumed, God spoke to him.

"But Moses protested, “If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is His name?’ Then what should I tell them?' God replied to Moses, 'I Am who I Am. Say this to the people of Israel: I Am has sent me to you.'" -Exodus 3:13

It's very popular right now to make dream boards, vision boards, to make declarations over ourselves and our futures. In the new age world it's called manifesting. Most people know by now our words and thoughts carry power and seek to train them. Science has proven this to be true. Maybe you've seen the work of Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto and his experiments with water (his experiments illustrated how on a molecular level, words affect matter).

Anyone who has had not-so-great words poured into them as a child, knows the damage it causes and the considerable effort it takes to change course. Words are powerful.

In the desert, God revealed a curious name for Himself. I AM אהיה. In Hebrew it sounds like "haya" or "eyeh" depending on where one places the vowels. You know what's interesting? It's first person singular future so it denotes a meaning of both I am and I become or I will be.

His name very comfortably, calmly, and powerfully claims both eternal existence and creation power. I Am is claiming BEING in the highest form in past, present and future. It's "was" "is" and "will be" and reminds me of Revelation 1:8 in which Jesus says:

I am the Alpha and the Omega (*Aleph and the Tav)—the beginning and the end,”says the Lord God. “I am the One who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One.”

*first and last Hebrew letters

I Am is the name God chose to reveal Himself to a people He was bringing out of slavery.

Even when a child does not know their human father; they carry parts of them- sometimes their name, or maybe just their eyes or laugh. The same with God, whether or not one knows Him, we are His creation and carry parts of Him.

Believing or not believing, whenever we say, "I Am," we speak His name.

Hebrew is read from right to left, the opposite of English. The sentence structure is also different, especially in the Torah. I wonder if, as we say things of ourselves, "I am this or that," in the air it becomes "ThisThing I AM" and we create a foreign first name for ourselves, attached to our surname of God.

A Divine family named combined with a false first name.

This is what He wanted me to think about as I declare an "I am" that is untrue, something He did not place within me but I picked up somewhere or that was whispered to me by enemies of my life.

Maybe that's a part of what the third commandment means when it talks about taking His name in vain. The word for vain there is "shav" שַׁו. Meaning empty. Futile. Worthless.

"Don't treat My name like it's worthless."

There's a reason people mix swear words with Jesus and God, even using His name as whole swear. No one says, "Oh my Buddha!" It doesn't feel the same, as forbidden, or as strong. There's power in the name of God and it's not because of culture. It's an innate spiritual power that doesn't require our acknowledgment to be true.

I believe He wants me to take seriously this responsibility and honor of being a child of God through Jesus by remembering I carry His name. What I attach to it in my word choice matters because because 1) His name deserves respect and 2) whatever first name I put on His takes on creation power because His Name has creation power.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue," Provers 18:21 is a verse people like to say. It's true. Just like He spoke this whole world into being, we speak our existences into reality all the time.

I don't want to start creating false names for myself today that become realities I have to battle tomorrow.

Perhaps like me, you can begin choosing what follows, "I am" carefully this year and always. Especially when it comes to negative words. The past and life pains can feel like they define you, but they didn't create you, God did. Such things don't deserve to be attached to your name.

I do think I understand the title of this blog post better because maybe a real hood translation of the third commandment could be, "Who's your daddy?" I AM.



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