Sometimes Jesus will speak words to me, answering a question or addressing something in my heart that I haven't even asked.
It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it catches me off guard. Imagine someone you know responding to a question you haven't asked or even formed into a question yet, aloud! You would look at them twice.
One time He did this was very funny. I like to sort and categorize aspects of life to keep them mentally organized. Even with people, I keep a running list of their particular attributes to better understand them and interact with them properly.
While God, The Holy Spirit and Jesus are One and all Divine, I've experienced them differently. They operate in tandem and of one purpose but have unique qualities. When I learned the Holy Spirit has personhood- not just a force but true personhood- I was excited and I became determined to understand Him. I talked to Him, made a list of each time I knew He'd guided me, helped me, and learned of how He worked in the Bible to better understand His person and came to love Him, too.
I smile when I think of the Holy Spirit. I don't just love Him, I like Him. I feel a bit of fear, not scared but a reverence at the certain sharpness, the severity in which He moves. It's reminds me of the feeling you get holding a deadly weapon or very sharp knife- like a katana. It's the knowledge of what it's capable of, a respect and not wanting to ever be on the wrong side of it or deal with it improperly. I feel the same for God and rightly so. He's the Almighty. But He's my Abba. The revelation of His Father's heart has been the light of my life.
As strange as it may sound, I speak to them all differently, based on how I've experienced them.
One morning, as I was praying, I essentially told Jesus, "God has made me laugh, but You haven't." Because it was true. I wanted to know if Jesus also had humor and why I hadn't experienced it.
This might seem like a strange thing to pray but we have a candid and simple relationship.
It was just an observation and I went about my day.
Later, as I was running errands and deep in thought about an issue I was facing. I was not even praying and felt Yeshua's Presence as He came near to me and addressed the issue. I was caught off guard but delighted as it's not something I feel like that every day.
As a joke, tongue in cheek, I said, "What about privacy!" as in, "You've answered my thoughts again." I don't really mind, but I like His Presence and wanted to joke with Him.
He instantly brought to my mind a scene, one where one of my young children was changing clothes and asked me to leave their room. When I asked why and my child said, "Privacy!" Joking, before leaving the room, I shot back, "All of that came out of me," gesturing to the body they wanted to conceal.
Jesus them reminded me of John 1:3.
"All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made."
I'd asked for privacy in the way my child had and just as I'd responded to my child saying, "You came from me," He reminded me that everything that come through Him.
It made me laugh for a long time. He is indeed funny. It's such a clever joke and I loved seeing that side of Him. I didn't know that.
I've seen Him very sad, very angry, smiling, and now I know He has jokes as well. All of the emotions of His I've seen seemed much more intense than that of human beings. The sadness was deeper, the anger was deeper, the joy was was higher, and the joke, funnier. Perhaps it's His purity. It's like He's the originator of all of these feelings and we have a diluted version of their expression? I don't actually know.
But today is about another lesson that He taught me. I was wrestling with my career, what I wanted to do and what direction I'd go in. I'd been praying but from the wrong place.
Sometimes, because He can see everything in our hearts, souls, and minds clearly- imagine a vivisection of all of the parts of oneself- Jesus will address something wrong at the foundation.
He'll just cut the quick: the underlying issue, a secret, or a lie that has not been dealt with. He tells people about themselves. Even without any words He can it because He's the Light. He did it in John a lot when the religious men were arguing with Him and with the Samaritan woman, too.
He doesn't even have to say anything, though. His Presence brings things to light. Hidden things.
The first time I felt God's presence, not Jesus', God's, I physically ran out of the room because it scared me so much. I was not a believer and had decided to meditate and ask God to come into the room. I sat alone for many minutes then suddenly behind me it was as if a wall came down and I knew Something was on its way. That alone was too much. The "on it's way." It felt like it could swallow me whole a thousand times. It did not feel evil or menacing, but the power felt like it could blow me apart instantly and it was only arriving.
I felt like I was going to die. Like my soul was coming out of my body. Since then, I've felt God and Jesus' presence in many ways. Sometimes it is overwhelming, sometimes comforting. Many times with Jesus it has been like the men on the road to Emmaus where in a dream I didn't know who I was talking to until I woke up. He decides how much of His glory He will cover.
But one thing has always remained true: His Presence, like His Word, exposes whether He speaks audibly or not. All falsehood, lies, or sin glare when He is there. It's why in John, again, so many of the religious authorities hated Him. Sometimes a person will dislike you, but it's a spirit of the world responding to His Presence in you.
"If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you." John 15:18
That's one of the signs actually. If the whole world is loving what you're doing for God, maybe it's not showing Jesus quite enough.
Anyway, I'd been wrestling with work. Trying to find a direction. I no longer felt satisfied by what I was doing and the way I was doing it. I had a decision to make but did not know what to do.
He spoke only five words and I hadn't even asked a question.
"There are only two kingdoms."
The words addressed an underlying problem with the foundation of my wrestling that I hadn't know was there.
But once He said them, it was like Light flooding the room of my heart and exposing what was within. It wasn't great.
In my career, I had been operating and acting like there were more than two kingdoms. I'd always wanted to be a writer and it always came easily to me. I knew I wanted to serve God, but saw it as something I'd do on the side. I would lend my writing to God, give Him a portion of it. How good of me, right? Much like a philanthropist drops a few gold coins in a bucket, I would give some of my skill to God.
In my career, what I'd tried to do was live in God's kingdom and commute to another for work. But God's not interested in having you for Sundays or weekends.
God doesn't do shared custody.
There are only two kingdoms.
You see I was operating as if the bulk of my heart for writing could go toward my own vision and then I would donate a portion to God's. I was operating as if there were three kingdoms: evil, mine, and God's.
There is no kingdom of self. Our own vision. Our own authorship. That falls under the first. It's a hard thing to type, but the kingdom of self is the kingdom of darkness.
There are only two kingdoms.
A kingdom is a domain characterized by citizens under authorities and ordinances. Laws and statutes.
There are only two kingdoms.
The enemy has one.
"If Satan also is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand?" Luke 11:18
And God has the far greater, eternal one.
"From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, 'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.'" -Matthew 4:17
Unlike countries of the world, these kingdoms are not determined by where you live. They are spiritual. They're determined by your belief and which authority you choose to place yourself under.
"If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9
Jesus is Lord. Not just friend. Not simply a prophet. Not simply good man.
Even demons know who Jesus is. They are very aware, in fact. But in their rebellion, they do not make Him their authority, they chose a different one.
One has to make Jesus Lord as in the authority of all things including one's life to be part of His kingdom.
There are people for whom satan knows he cannot make choose him as their authority, so he is satisfied with them choosing themselves as their authority. What Jesus was explaining to me that day is that it's the same thing.
There are only two kingdoms.
The way God showed me this morning before I began writing, was how there are many brands of cereal and other foods but many are all owned by just a few companies. They provide the illusion of choices under a single umbrella.
When He was telling me, "There are only two kingdoms," God exposed an area of my life I was keeping from His Kingdom and under my own authority.
God gives people gifts, but it's our decision which kingdom we will build with them. He showed me these gifts as bricks and a person standing between two buildings and having to choose which they were going to bring their brick to in order to help build up.
There are only two kingdoms.
The beautifully painted middle one is not His. The middle kingdom built to self is not eternal. There will be a day when the sheet is pulled off of it and the owner of monuments build to self will be exposed. It will be a sad day. Hearts will break, melt, because people will realize who they made lord. On that day even people who looked on the outside like they were doing amazing, holy things but who did not know Him will experience the same.
It's not even about the title of the work but who's name you are doing it in. Matthew 18:19-20 makes it clear there are plumbers who inherit the kingdom of God and preachers who will not.
Building His kingdom will look a bit differently for every person.
Ask Him. My biggest assignment, my first one, is my family. And then my writing and my communities. It will be different for everyone. There is one, however, for everyone. "Go therefore..."
The world has convinced many that being under an authority means being a zombie and losing freedom, but the freedom and life in Yeshua is unmatched. Having God living in me is the highest of honors. He seats those with Him in heavenly places and shares His Name. The belief that one loses anything good by coming into His Kingdom is a lie and and illusion.
He's not out here to make life hard for anyone but give every person life and life more abundantly. Try Him. Taste and see for yourself.
"Behold,I stand at the door and knock.If anyone hears My voice and opens the door,I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3:20
Love, Bunmi
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
The promises of God begin and end with Yeshua, Jesus, because He is the reconciliation. If you've been walking through life on your own and want to be a child of God, here's how to begin.