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Car Conversations: God Better Have My Money

The conversation today is for someone waiting on money and feeling a certain type of way about it.

I think it was yesterday that I wondered in passing when Abba and I would have another chat in the car. I'd been driving, but mostly praying or listening to sermons. But yesterday I thought, "Hm, it's been awhile." Not since I'd heard from Him, but heard someone specifically for this blog under this heading. I always know when it's for this vs. something just for me.

Anyway, this morning I was praying while driving, telling Him things I didn't really ever confront and feelings that had been latent and there, but I'd never thought to actually talk to Him about- has that ever happened to you?

The been-there-as-long-as-I-can-remember or things-I-thought-I-had-to-figure-out-on-my-own stuff.

Those are easy to forget to bring to Him. Sometimes they feel too small, other times they feel like a default setting one has to accept. That's not true. He really wants it all and knows about it anyway. Tell Him all the underbelly things and ask for help scraping them away. The things you've accepted as simply you or part of your life, especially. I was surprised.

Anyway, today the subject was things people are waiting for, money specifically.

Be patient and read the whole thing. If you're feeling angry or frustrated, just try and relax a bit.

People as a whole are very confused about where good things come from. Oftentimes, people think it's chance or that they did it when it's in fact a blessing from God. His grace permeates this entire world, without it, it would be chaos and a living nightmare. Ask Him to show you if you don't believe me.

If you think anything is hard now, which it very well may well be, awful in fact, please know His grace is still there. We are gifted beyond measure to not live without His grace which is like a blanket over all things that holding back stuff we can't even imagine.

It's like our children. Children in a good home experience a grace they are not aware of. Food arrives. Clean clothes are there. Love abounds. These children do not know they are being held by a grace of good parents, but they are. Only a child who has experienced the opposite of neglect and/or abuse, once in that good home would be able to see it. Life on this earth is exactly like that. We take for granted His grace because we've only ever lived inside of it. Sometimes we use the existence of evil as a reason do deny it's presence as well. used to do that.

But if you really think about it, even from a purely logical standpoint, there are too many things going right for this to be all just happening. How is that the birds get fed just enough? How is it that there are enough birds so that this world isn't teeming with insects? How is it that we are just far away enough from the sun to enjoy it's benefits but not so close that we are fried instantly? It would only take a small difference in the balance of living things and our environment for us to live in daily hell. But we don't. We experience discomfort, but we get to live- by different standards based on where you live and what human evils have invaded it- but look around.

But like children who can't find their shoe, or stub their toe, or experience hardship due to a sibling's bad behavior or their own, we are quick to see heartbreaking realities as proof of no God or God's failure when neither of those things are true. Evil is real and has an influence in this world. People do bad things. Earth is not heaven, it is a place of testing, work, preparation, but also blessing and rest in Yeshua, Jesus.

Abba gave me this verse:

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:17

Every evening, most children sit down to eat. We all know it is a parent who provides the food. But imagine if a child believed the oven did. And every day thanked the oven for being so amazing. "Thank you oven for another meal, oven!" while the parent stood to the side, watching in disbelief. Why are they thanking the oven? Do they not know who uses it to cook for them?

Or what if the child thought it was the time of day, 6pm, that made meals arrive. What if the child began to look to the time of day, obsess over it, as the source for the good thing. "6pm, the golden hour of food has arrived! A meal will come!" What if the child created charts and maps of time to better understand 6pm and it's mystical nature of provision in an attempt to perhaps manipulate the process. It would be silly. An exercise of vanity.

Or what if the child thought it was how they sat at the table, back straight and face forward, hands ready by the plate that made the meal arrive. The child is attributing their behavior, their posture, to the presence of the meal. "I am ready and in the right position, that's what makes the meal come."

Meanwhile, the parent who planned, cooked, and placed the meal out of love is forgotten, unseen, and unrecognized.

God showed me this picture because as the different ways people think and act concerning the things He gives. The first is creating idols around ovens. I work hard, but He's made it clear to me that it isn't my work that provides for me, it's Him through it and around it. The minute I begin to place my strengths and ambition above Him, things begin to fall apart as a protection. He doesn't want me to ever worship work and my ability to do it. He doesn't want me to work in my own strength when I have His. He doesn't want me to burn out. He doesn't want me to neglect my family or neglect myself. He doesn't want me to forget Him and us. We have something special. He's my Provider. My Abba.

The second illustration, the child looking at 6pm as the magic number, are those who try and find formulas in the natural or even spiritual world; patterns and the like to lean on. God is not the universe, He created it. Yes, nature, stars, and life are beautiful, but the One who fashioned them is infinitely more so. This child treats life as a game of chance and at their root feels lost but is grasping at the spiritual elemental things of this world, which are real, to try and find a footing, control, and power. I have done this and it does not come without a cost. There is a living God who loves you. People may have failed you or hurt you, but He will do neither.

The third is the difficult one. It's the sneakiest and most insidious of mindsets, it sneaks up on a person and seems so right. It's a picture of a religious person who knows the principles of God: sowing an repeating, obedience, proper stewardship, etc. But somehow along the way began to believe it was their works, their accomplishments, or their behavior, that open His hand.

When this happens, He might withhold in order to, and I heard this very clearly, "Bring them back to the heart of Me."

This person could be doing, actually, is doing all the things right. But it's so easy to get caught up in tasks. He wants children who want to know Him to the point He made it possible for us to have an indwelling of His presence through the Holy Spirit.

When something in this life is wanted to the point it inspires compulsive like thinking: "If I do this____, I should get ____" and makes the person getting angry when they don't see it, something is wrong.

He just kept showing me someone who was very angry and not understanding why they didn't have what they wanted and felt like they deserved even though they did all the right things.

God is bringing you back to the heart of Himself.

Don't look left or right at what other people are doing. What they're accomplishing or how they're doing it. Don't copy and then be surprised when that same harvest doesn't arrive. To the child worshipping the oven, the one obsessed with what time it was, and to the one trying to sit even straighter in their chair to make the meal come, look at Him.

Look at the Father of Lights. Stay there with Him. Let go of the thing. Trust Him that it all won't come crashing down and what does, wasn't meant to stand in the way it was. That's the promise of God for His people. All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Remember?

Let go and look at Him. Fix your eyes on Jesus.

It's often the hot breath of comparison induced competition or shame pushing us to want to have the thing so badly we forget the heart of the One it comes from.

Just look at Him. Sit with Him. Ask Him how heaven looks today. What He's thinking about. Thank Him for loving you. Tell Him it's hard out here sometimes but you know He's here. Ask Him to hold your hand. Break down if you want, it's ok.

He doesn't withhold good things from His children and it's not always warfare that causes delays either. Sometimes He just needs to repair the alignment of our eyes. Or repair a basket so we can hold the good thing when it arrives the way a parent prepares a child's hands before giving them a balloon or an ice cream come or a container of bubbles. We don't like seeing our children drop things, it's sad for them and us.

One thing that's exciting is that He showed me how quickly He answers prayers, but it's often not seen because of our own sight or something we're not allowing Him to fix so we can have it properly.

He's such a loving Father, people. He's generous. And He's wise.

You can put your trust in Him.

After all this, I heard the song in my head that I liked as a little girl.

"Praise God, from whom all blessings flow; Praise Him, all creatures here below; Praise Him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."

Have a good day

love, Bunmi

PS. This isn't for the person who needs to get up and do something. There was a recent time in my life when God told me to get off my behind and do the things I knew I was supposed to. If that's you, yeah look at Him always but also get up. Don't be scared, ask Him for help. <3


The promises of God begin and end with Jesus because He is the reconciliation. If you've been walking through life on your own and want to walk with a Shepherd who will never let go of your hand, here's how to start.


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