I had a dream awhile ago that I was in my home and there was a big, strange shadowy rat running around the room specifically around one of my children. In the dream, rather than look at it, I turned my back, not wanting to see it. In real life I hate mice and rats and would have used fire, if that's what it took, to rid myself of it. I can't stand them.
But in the dream, I could not bear to see it. It actually frightened me the point of simply turning my face and body away from it.
When I woke up and prayed, asking to understand the dream, I was told there was a situation I was ignoring with one of my children.
And it was true. One of my kids had been showing a vein of negative behavior that I'd tried to deal with in various superficial ways, sporadic disciplinary ways, but had never gotten to the root of it and taken the decisive action necessary. Why? Deep down I knew it would cause a blow up. I was hoping it would go away on its own. But I'm here to tell you, whether your child is lying, being increasingly rude, or anything else- what has taken any sort of root in their character doesn't disappear, it grows.
I'm not talking about toddlers being toddlers. I mean a root system you see establishing itself that leads nowhere good.
I prayed and asked God to help me. I prayed for my child, specifically for help dealing with what I'd been ignoring.
About two weeks later, something came to light that demanded and made clear justification for me to do what was necessary.
This morning, God spoke to me about the intersection of His help and common sense. Sometimes we say, "I'll just trust God" and ignore what is happening around us. That's wrong. If He's given you the ability to reason, use it.
To use knowledge of God as a reason to avoid taking action on what you've been given the ability to see can have disastrous results in life of our children who depend on us to be the watchmen over their lives. We can trust God and act what we know.
No one would watch someone crawl through their child's bedroom at night and say, "I'll trust God to handle that," and go back to sleep. In the same way, when our mother's intuition kicks in, or we notice something a weed sprout knowing it has potential to choke out the whole garden of a child's life, it's to act.
Mother's intuition is real. When ignored, shouted down by other people, shamed by "experts," or diluted with fear- it gets quieter over time. Don't let it. Your child needs the wisdom God has placed in your heart to raise and protect them. Bystanders can give advice, but they do not have a deciding vote.
I like to watch the birds outside my bedroom window. Mothering looks so easy for them. They don't seem to have the pressures we do, nor obligations and expectations pulling them in different directions. But even they have birds of prey, raccoons and the such who seek to steal eggs out of the nest under the cover of darkness to make a quiet meal of by moonlight.
These days aren't like when we were kids, no one can deny that. Our parents were free to let us roam until the streetlights came on. In the summer, we only came inside to eat and sleep.
There weren't devices to monitor, curriculums to look twice at, and food labels to read. We have a different level of different level of mothering to do, a different kind of warrior to be, but we don't do it alone and were not left without help.
When you know something, take the action even if it means a child will be angry at you, slam a door, and speak to you in one syllable words for a little while. It's worth it. They'll have a lot of friends, but only one you. Love them enough to endure their emotions.
Do what you know is right by your child even if it means a doctor looks at you sideways.
Do what you know is right by a child even if it means extended family have something to say about it. Aunts, uncles, and grandparents are not raising them, you are.
Do what you know to be right by your child because at the end of the day, at the end of your day the only people who will live with the consequences of how we raise them are the child and us. No one is invested in your child's life like you are.
When it's 2am and your child is sick, crying, and calls for someone, it's you not everyone with an opinion.
You're the one God has assigned to this little one and one thing I know about God is that He never abandons someone in their post. Ask for help and never give up. You're not alone.
"And lo I will be with you always, even unto the end of the age." -Matthew 28:20
Pray in faith knowing you're raising your child with help from heaven. Pray for yourself and for your children.
You got this.
love, Bunmi
If you've been walking through life on your own and want to walk with a Shepherd, Yeshua, who will never let go of your hand, here's how to start.
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