For a long time Abba has woken me in the early morning to pray. I'm talking 3am, 3:30am a few times a week. It used to bother me a little bit. To the point I asked, "Why do You wake me up at this time?"
His answer was, "That's when you're available" and I laughed and never asked again. The life of a mother is busy. I pray during the day, yes, but it's different at night. There's a stillness.
I no longer groan internally when I wake up at 3:30. I know it's for a reason. Oftentimes. I don't even realize there is anything to be prayed about until a little while in.
Sometimes prayer is like one of those old fashioned outdoor water pumps, you pray for a little while before water starts to flow. And then I wonder how I could have gotten through the day without giving certain thing to Him, warring against certain things, seeing certain things, praying for people. Now I'm grateful that He rouses me.
As for feeling tired during the day, I rarely do but usually He'll have me go back to sleep or make a time for me to take a nap during the day. God doesn't create chaos.
He takes care of birds, after all. He provides for all things. It's humans and our unseen enemy who steal from one another and then claim it's God who is a bad Father. But even then, He is always working.
If you're waking up in the wee hours and don't know why, maybe it's to pray. I don't mean if you're having sleep trouble due to stress that keeps you exhausted. You'll know the difference. Perhaps begin praying and see what begins to flow after awhile.
This morning as I prayed, this post began to write itself based on what I was seeing.
I saw people, people who had endured hard things, terrible things, who in the physical, in life looked broken, damaged, and less than to human and societal eyes. People who had fallen but were still standing, whose mistakes were written on their bodies and in their daily routines, who had crawled out of emotional, mental and physical pits.
But instead of a humans, I saw a cut rubies the size of people walking. All of these rubies, semi-translucent treasures walking around, milling about.
The "lowest" of human beings, the "lowest" ranked, the "lowest" quality human being according the standards of human beings is a priceless treasure in the sight of God which makes it a truth in reality.
satan has convinced not only people with evil intent but even worse, people with good intent that there are different value levels of humans based on what they can offer, what they have done, what they have been through, what they drive, or where they live.
He is a liar. He lies and people come into agreement often due to pain or simply not knowing who they are.
The truth is, you were hand created by an all-powerful, loving God and nothing can change that. You are a masterpiece and a piece of treasure. You are a walking jewel. If you could see the truth of who you were, knew the fingerprint of God that was upon you, you'd never allow any human being or malevolent spirit to tell you otherwise.
There are people carrying the opinions and judgements of others like baggage and it's weighing you down like an invisible heavy garment.
A few years ago, I heard Him ask me "Who are you wearing?" The way it was asked reminded me of interviewers on red carpets during award show ask celebrities in gowns the same question. "Who are you wearing?" as in "Who designed the clothes you have on?"
God was asking me to look down and examine the clothes, not the physical ones but spiritual ones I had on. I was a new believer of Jesus, I believed He is the Son of God who lived a perfect life and died for my sins. I believed He rose again and triumphed over death. I believed my old life was gone and I was born again.
I had been clothed in righteousness through the King of heaven but still carried much of the life I had been living before, the weight of it, the hopelessness, and felt a kind of unworthiness.
"Who are you wearing?" He asked me. The garment given to me by Him or the one He'd free me from?
There is a verse that says we are to be "transformed by the renewing of our minds."
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
One thing many people do not realize is that they have conformed to the world's standard of who is valuable and who is not. The world's standard of who is valuable and who is not is evil. Because you are the handiwork of the God of heaven, individually made, with love, hand crafted, made in His image.
Believing the ranking system of the world will have you going one of two ways: feeling less than and accepting things you do not deserve/self-destruction, or getting caught up trying to prove your worth through various means (popularity, fame, relationships, an obsession with clothes & looks, applause, work or academic achievements- none of these will satisfy).
Your soul intrinsically has value you can't even imagine because of Who made it.
You were so valuable that Jesus died for you.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
I don't care where you heard or picked up your sense of worth from. Your mother, father, a teacher, a person with a holy sounding title, a friend...if it's anything less than a treasure of God, a walking jewel, it's not yours.
It doesn't matter who can see it, know Whose image you were made in. It doesn't matter what has happened in your body, past, bank account, or family, you are priceless treasure in the eyes of the only One who matters.
Reject the ranking system of the world. Jesus did. It was often the rejects, those ranked at the bottom, who often received Him in the way those ranked the highest refused to because the lowest in society knew they had need of saving whereas the highest were warmed, clothed head to toe in their own outward, flimsy righteousness. Where man saw rags, He saw jewels. Where man saw jewels, He saw tombs.
See yourself through God's eyes. Take His hand and know that when you are treasure.
I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Where to start? Jesus. His Word. His life. Start there and fill yourself with His truth and it will overpower everything else.
The promises of God begin and end with Yeshua, Jesus, because He is the reconciliation. If you've been walking through life on your own and want to walk with a Shepherd who will never let go of your hand, here's how to start.