You can deconstruct your religious experience but you can’t reinvent God.
God is more than aware that many have suffered perversity in religious environments, just as they have in many organizations from US gymnastics to school systems. Humans are damaging, but He remains the same.
God is not a doll one can dress up and take traits off of based on one’s personal preferences.
He’s not subject or bound by the opinions of human beings.
If your love of God is dependent on being able to wrap your intellect around Him in this life, you will abandon any relationship you could have had with Him as soon as you reach a wall your understanding cannot climb. In the valley of decision, one can either turn to God or turn toward themselves.
Turning toward a newly invented version of God based on what you personally like and dislike, is the same as choosing oneself. You are worshipping the product of your own imagination.
They have mouths, but they do not speak;
Eyes they have, but they do not see;
They have ears, but they do not hear;
Noses they have, but they do not smell;
They have hands, but they do not handle;
Feet they have, but they do not walk;
Nor do they mutter through their throat.
Those who make them are like them;
So is everyone who trusts in them.
God is not fooled by lip service and a heart that is tied to the world. He’s not moved by invented versions of Him patched together from human desires, new age theories and philosophies.
When you worship and call on those inventions, you worship and call on something else entirely. God has personhood independent of our ideas.
God sees you and what you have experienced. He is fully aware of the shortcomings of human beings. Throwing away a relationship with Him or attempting to create a new god because the One who exists is unpalatable to you, is a mistake.
Go to Him. Bring your wounds to Him. There are only two authorities in this world: His Spirit and the spirit of the world. When you decide to take yourself out from under God's loving authority, by default, you are submitting to the spirit of the world in which there is no everlasting love or covenant.
Make your decision and choose this day which god you will serve. The living God or the one of your own invention.
But now, O Lord, You are our Father;
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all we are the work of Your hand.
There’s only one name under heaven by which you can know Him, abide in Him and it’s Jesus. It was Yeshua who lived a sinless life, died for our sins, and then rose again.
It is His life, fully submitted to God, that allows us to one day enter the kingdom of heaven wearing the righteousness He purchased with His blood. The spotless Lamb of God.
"If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9
Choose the living God and relationship with Him that begins with Yeshua.